Archive for the ‘Ramadan’ Category

5 Things That Help Me Keep the Ramadan Spirit Going

Posted: October 16, 2012 in Affad Shaikh, American Muslim, Islam, Ramadan, Social
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Its another set of 10 days- those of Dhul Hajj.  Hajj…sigh.  Well if you can’t go for Hajj, there are the 10 days leading into Eid and the most important day for everyone, regardless if you’re performing Hajj or not, is the Day of Arefa.  As those 10 days start (today), I was reflecting on how this year I have been able to keep the Ramadan spirit going, much longer then usual.  These are the 5 things I feel I have been able to do to keep that Ramadan feeling:

1.  Don’t jump out of the deep end: I think one of the things we do during Ramadan is we participate in a great deal of sunnah activities- extra prayers, reading more Quran, sitting together to share food, longer duahs.  All of these things are easier during Ramadan and in return are what add to the Ramadan spirit.  By extending those activities, even a fraction of the intensity of Ramadan, into the rest of your year will help you keep hold of Ramadan.  For me, this year that is a significant change.

2.  Mercy is a Year Round Thing:  During Ramadan we are filled with Rahma, as Allah floods our lives with Rahma.  I feel that one thing we lose after Ramadan is that sense of Rahma and in turn we begin to lose the Ramadan spirit.  We worked on holding onto Rahma by doing good deeds, being kind, smiling, having good thoughts, doing things for ourselves, family, friends and strangers that we weren’t asked to do.  We showed mercy to ourselves, others and the environment during Ramadan because those were good deeds that were being multiplied, we should continue that even if the deeds aren’t being multiplied.

3.  Stay close to those who make you the person you are.  Family orientated activities, that don’t deal with business, were the central part of Ramadan.  In fact, those activities were all about our faith, we gathered because of our religion.  Eating together, breaking bread, cooking together- all of these activities brought the family and friends together during Ramadan.  Doing things that are like that, removing the trappings of business and consumerism or multitasking, and even better electronics, will help keep that Ramadan spirit going.

4.  Cut the static- I talked about cutting the cable cord.  I think one of the things that really helps the Ramadan spirit is not being governed by television or its content.  Use your DVR, limit your tube time, watch the content your consuming.I Performed the five daily prayers with greater concentration throughout the day I was better able to monitor my thoughts and censor and control my own impulses easily.  Also, checking social media like a crack addict, or having that cell phone around texting all the time, it layers on all these connections and responsibilities that allows you to lose yourself and lose sight of your God conscientiousness.  I find that its important to cut that out of my life, so I can devote my time and attention to God, myself and family and friends.

5.  Do good deeds.  Part of Rahma, is understanding the suffering of others.  Anticipating the needs of others is a way to become sensitive to other peoples life.  Learning to walk a mile in another persons shoes is that old saying that oft gets repeated but is so hard to truly live by.  In having a sense of participating in the suffering of others, is our way as Muslims to get near to Rahma in Islam because you raise your consciousness of God and his infinite mercy toward us.

Ramadan Day 27- The End of a Journey

Posted: August 15, 2012 in Affad Shaikh, American Muslim, Islam, night of power, Qiyam, Ramadan
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corridor in the Shah Jehan Masjid

Corridor in the Shah Jehan Masjid, Thatta, Pakistan

With the blessings of Allah I accomplished the goal I had intended from the beginning of Ramadan this year, to finish the Quran.  It was an intense journey requiring lots of discipline, dedication as well as force of will.  Reading entire volume in one day, often in one sitting, out loud while fasting was not as easy of a task as I had imagined it to be.  Alhumdulillah, I pray that God accepts my reading and fasting, and all other acts of worship.  Ameen.  It is a satisfying accomplishment to say the least.

Ramadan Day 11- “During Ramadan, we’re kind of forced to sit as a family”

Posted: July 30, 2012 in Affad Shaikh, American Muslim, Health, Islam, laughter, lifestyle, Ramadan, supplements and vitamins
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Iftari at the Shaikh house, its to early to take pictures of Sahoor. I usually am not of sound mind to take an appropriate picture at the time so I share our table scape when we break the fast.

I recently was interviewed by Mona Shadia for her column “Unveiled: A Muslim Girl in O.C.” about Ramadan and Sahoor (the really early morning meal to start off the fasting day). She’s a is a reporter for Times Community News. An Egyptian American, she was born and raised in Cairo and now lives in Orange County. Her column includes various questions and issues facing Muslims in America. Follow her on Twitter @MonaShadia. Below is an excerpt from our conversation for her piece titled “The benefits of Ramadan are truly endless“, go support her!

Affad Shaikh [thats me], a Muslim American of Pakistani descent whom I know from the Council on American-Islamic Relations [I did that, and loved every minute of it], left his Newport Beach [love living there] apartment for the month to spend Ramadan with his family [SUPER excited about being able to do this, its like I am a fat kid in a candy store all alone type of excitement].

Affad, 29, recently quit his job [I hate not having an income] and is attending law school [which I suggest people not do]. He’s out for the summer [SWEEeeeeet!], which presented the perfect opportunity to spend Ramadan with his parents and younger brother [on twitter at @shaikhster] and sister [on twitter @ashaikh3] in Palmdale for the first time in a few years.

The family’s alarm clocks go off right at 3:30 a.m. [more like my mom starts the stove and i realize the scrumptious goodness I'm about to miss out on if I don't wake up], the lights go on and all members of his household gather in the kitchen for fried or boiled eggs. Mom prepares Paratha [yummmmmmy! Give me some of 'em right now!], which is like Pakistani tortilla that Affad and his brother like to eat with honey and dad prefers with banana. Affad makes himself a protein shake.

When the food is ready, everyone sits together to eat, talk and laugh. Affad said they talk about the news, about their plans for the day. Because their dad leaves to work at 5:30 a.m. [God bless his soul and let us kids be even a tiny bit disciplined like him. Ameen!], it’s a great chance to spend time and talk with him in the morning.

“I definitely appreciate being with family for suhoor,” he said. [so nice to not be sahooring/iftaring alone]

Once the family is done eating, they get ready to pray Fajr, which is the first prayer of the day. They also read the Koran and then, Affad said, “I’m usually knocked out.”

“During Ramadan, we’re kind of forced to sit as a family because of the time constraints,” he said. “It’s very communal. You get to come together to do these things.”

…and thats how we do things at the Shaikh household. Great post by Mona, check out some of her other pieces, totally tearing stereotypes and misperceptions about Islam and Muslims in her column. Also you can find me on twitter to get in on the Shaikh family escapades- @SOCALMOSLEM

Ramadan Day 10- You shouldn’t be gaining weight

Posted: July 29, 2012 in 70 day challenge, Affad Shaikh, American Muslim, diet, fitness, Health, health and fitness, Islam, lifestyle, obesity, p90x, Ramadan, suhaib webb, supplements and vitamins
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graphic courtesy of Muslim Matters

Muslim Matters posted a ‘5-Step Guide to Healthy Ramadan Weight Loss‘ which is worth your time to read (its a bit long), but in summary the 5 Steps in brief are:

  1. Stop speed eating at Sahoor
  2. Don’t obsess about food
  3. Exercise (Duh)- doesnt take Sherlock Holmes to figure that out.
  4. Stop feasting after iftar
  5. Be Mindful of other- something I wrote about already in my previous Ramadan posts.

I personally am following the Rehan Jalali Ramadan Nutrition and Workout Plan (which is on Suhaib Webbs blog) this year.  I made some modifications to it because I needed it to suit my lifestyle a bit better, but for the most part I started on Ramadan Day 1 and have been going strong.  While I have been successful in not gaining weight the past four years, and the past two years actually losing weight, I wanted to take things up a notch and get back on track for my 70 Day Challenge which abrubptly came to a stop on Day 35 (Law School, things not working out with a girl, law school, midterms and tests, moving out of apartment, law school doubts).

Ramadan Day 5- Relationship with others

Posted: July 24, 2012 in Activism, Affad Shaikh, American Muslim, Education, Islam, Justice, Ramadan
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“No religion is higher than a human being,” says Abdul Sattar Edhi. I wanted to use this picture primarily to introduce you to someone who is an extraordinary person. When we think about helping others, usually Mother Teresa comes to mind. But for millions of people in Pakistan its Abdul Satter Edhi, a man who is nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize this year. Read more about this extraordinary man who gave up a very lucrative business in order to help the poor and destitute of Pakistan- http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/pakistan/8440920/The-day-I-met-Abdul-Sattar-Edhi-a-living-saint.html

So the whole mercy toward others thing is something I don’t think I need to jump into to much.  As toddlers we are taught how to relate with one another, from the very first concept of “sharing” our toys with others to the more complex concept we learn later in school about stereotypes and racism affecting our perception and interaction with others.  Here’s just limited sampling of what can be found in Islam:

“Kindness is a mark of faith, and whoever is not kind has no faith.” (Muslim)

“Whoever is kind, Allah will be kind to him; therefore be kind to man on the earth. He Who is in heaven will show mercy on you.”(Abu Daud: Tirmidhi)

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Allah will show mercy to those who show mercy to people. Show mercy to those who are on earth – the One Who is in Heaven will show mercy to you.”

“You will not enter paradise until you have faith; and you will not complete your faith till you love one another.” (Muslim)

On the authority of Ibn ‘Abbas RA, the Messenger SAW said: “Allah has pardoned for me my people for their mistakes and their forgetfulness and for what they have done under duress.”

The First Knight of Ramadan- Happy to be part of the nerdfest

Posted: July 24, 2012 in Affad Shaikh, American Muslim, Islam, Justice, laughter, Public Relations, Ramadan, Social, Social Media
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Ramadan Day 4- Experiencing Mercy For Oneself

Posted: July 22, 2012 in Affad Shaikh, American Muslim, Islam, Justice, Ramadan
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Big Picture from Ramadan August 2012- Chinese Muslim kids waiting for the iftar.

“And surely, I am indeed forgiving to him who repents, believes (in My Oneness, and associates none in worship with Me) and does righteous good deeds, and then remains constant in doing them.” Qur’an 20:82

Remember that feeling of going without water and food all day, then sitting down and taking that first bite, the morsel that sustains your spirit, brings you back to life.  When you take the sip of water that drives back the thirst that has been unhinging your senses.  That feeling is really important, not just the spirituality behind it or the secular connection of being able to experience the feeling of hunger and starvation, but rather, the expression of “MERCY”.

You can’t begin to understand what mercy is unless you can relate to having compassion and mercy extended to you.  That feeling of breaking your fast with food, is god’s mercy in having provided us with sustenance.  The most important way to understand and practice mercy in day to day life, I believe, is by actually being merciful to yourself.

That means having the ability to forgive yourself, being compassionate toward yourself, having mercy for yourself.  I don’t want to say you should push yourself to excel etc.  But rather recognizing that your not perfect, that you working to better yourself is a process and that God is going to be the final judge.  By understanding this a person can move forward in their spiritual development without feeling the need to be held back by one’s own shame. Asking forgiveness from those who were harmed and making amends to those who have been injured are part of mercy toward one’s self.

 

 

Ramadan Day 3- Finding Mercy Within Us, Embodying Rahma

Posted: July 22, 2012 in Affad Shaikh, al ghazzali, American Muslim, Education, Health, Islam, Justice, Ramadan, Social
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Image from link, however, I don’t endorse anything there because I haven’t read the site nor am I familiar with it.

To begin to understand Allah’s Rahma I explored the God’s attribute and the fact that as Muslims we are constantly invoking God’s mercy in our daily actions countless times.  Its quite amazing to consider how often it is we seek His mercy, yet, we don’t truly understand or comprehend the extent of it, so I thought it would be good to give a Hadith from  Al Nawawi #37 that discusses Allah’s Compassion:

On the authority of Ibn’ Abbas (RA), from the Prophet SAW relating a saying that is related to hi s Lord (SWT) is that he said:

“Allah has written down the good deeds and the bad ones.  Then He explained it by saying that he who has intended a  deed and has not done it, Allah writes it down with Himself as a full good deed, but if he has intended it and has done it, Allah writes it down with Himself as from ten good deeds, or many times over.  But if he has intended a bad deed and has not done it, Allah writes it down with Himself as a full good deed, but if he has intended it and has done it, Allah writes it down as one bad deed.”

I find it easy to really get caught up in Deed Crunching- get into the whole how many deeds add up to along with subtraction, I don’t think that Allah intended us to fully comprehend the system but rather presented the concept in a way that would allow us to comprehend His mercy.  Clearly, what is striking is that even if you intended a bad deed but refrained from acting on it, that counts as a good deed- Crazy right?  That truly is the extend of God’s Mercy and Compassion toward us.

In order to live up to this standard we are told, through the Prophet SAW’s example how to be compassionate and merciful.  For instance we know that we give the benefit of doubt to people and suppress our suspicion or bad expectations of their intentions; we are told that we are not the judge of intentions, but rather God is; we are reminded again and again about holding our tongues (since some of the most un-merciful and un-compassionate actions are spoken); we have a limit to how long we can be upset and angry at another person- 3 days, at which point we must forgive them for their transgression; on top of that we are told that on the Day of Judgement, those we have transgressed again and who have not forgiven us are due justice for our injustice against them.  The list goes on about how one’s self (ego or in Arabic nafs) can be brought in line with the Divine manifestation of Rahma.

People might find that this involves work, hard work, or that such a state is unachievable. If you have such a defeatist mentality then you could never achieve this state, but if you try, you might surprise yourself.  I believe that if there were a self help book on attitude and actions- our MODERN understanding of psychology and human interaction- then the Prophetic example is truly better suited to be utilized because it stems from the Creator who knows us far better then we will ever be able to understand ourself.  That is why I believe that we have the ability to find the Mercy within us and that we can embody Rahma.

You can get your read on, just go to RD4–-

Ramadan Day 2- Al Rahman, The Most Merciful

Posted: July 21, 2012 in Affad Shaikh, American Muslim, Islam, Justice, Ramadan
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I chose this picture to go with this post because we often connect “MERCY” and “COMPASSION” in circumstances of complete desolation and loss and emotional rawness. Most images of mercy in Christianity I found were those of the Virgin Mary holding the crucified, dead body of Jesus. This image was so strikingly similar, yet removed by 2000 years and in a totally different world context, that I felt moved to use it to begin the discussion of Mercy as one of God’s most important attributes. -Woman holds man, compassion 2012 World Press Photo of the Year- A woman holds a wounded relative during protests against President Saleh in Sanaa, Yemen, Oct. 15, 2011. (Samuel Aranda/The New York Times)

Where do you begin when discussing mercy?  I started the conversation in my Ramadan Day (RD) 1 post by defining “mercy” in English.  I find that when your multilingual things often take on a  deeper meaning, however, in trying to translate all of that meaning the richness of the concept or idea is lost on the reader.  Trying to keep that in mind I felt the next best place to really explore “rahma” is Al Rahman- the Most Merciful, God.

Muslims relationship with God begins with the Arabic word for God- Allah.  If you open up a Christian Bible in Arabic, you will find it “littered” with the word Allah, because in Arabic, whether you are talking about the Muslim God or the Christian God, God in Arabic is Allah.  The closest example of this simple concept, that is often very difficult to comprehend by non-Arabic speakers, is the Spanish word for God- Dios.  When you pick up a translation of the Bible or the Quran, the concept of God is expressed in the Spanish language as Dios.   There are lots of people, on both the Muslim and Christian side, that claim that our God is not the God worshipped “those people.”  I don’t much care for the distinctions that divide those two opinions because for me my perception of the God that is discussed in the Bible as well as in the Quran stems from the Abrahamic perception of God.  Now whether Christians divide that concept by utilizing the Trinity, is in essence another story for another post.  Similarly in Urdu and Farsi the word for God is Khuda and in prayers and conversation, Khuda and Allah are intermingled and exchanged according to the speakers preference and possibly the emphasis the speaker is trying to get across.

Both the Bible and Quran discuss attributes of God- God will smite the evil doers, God will provide to the needy, God is compassionate, God is merciful, God is exacting, God is judge and just, God is everlasting, the Creator and these attributes go on.  In Islam, however, the concept of God is never mixed up with the idea that God is cruel or that God is malevolent.  I find that sometimes while reading the Bible I get this picture of God laughing at humanity and creation, but then again, there are multiple levels of translations that eschew the language of the Bible in ways that we, today at least, can’t completely untangle.

One of the most important attributes in Islam of God is that God is Most Merciful (along with God being Most Generous).  To give you an idea of the importance of this attribute take these examples:  A simple phrase, Bismillah ir Rahman nir Rahim (translation- In the Name of Allah, Most Compassionate, Exceedingly Merciful) is recited before every meal; before starting a new task, before wearing new clothes, while sitting in a car, while endeavoring on a new task, before beginning a meeting and the list goes on.  This same phrase is recited in the beginning of every reading of the Quran (except for one specific chapter of the Quran), in prayers it is recited in every standing section twice which, if praying all the prayers would mean a minimum of reciting it 35 times, but you add in their Surah Fatiha (The Opening Chapter) and you’ve double that amount.  The short of it is that Muslims attune themselves to God’s Mercy all the time.

One of the most beautiful chapters of the Quran is Surah Rahman, in which human kind is asked over and over again, after each example of creation listed in the chapter- Which of these favors of  your Lord will you deny?  For Muslims creation itself, along with everything in it, is a mercy from God, an opportunity to do good, to seek out goodness in oneself, to attain a self that is closest to God and God consciousness.  Out of all the attributes of God that are expressed in the Quran, the most famous and the most worthy to call upon is ar Rahman- ”Thy Lord is self-sufficient, full of Mercy: if it were God’s will, God could destroy you, and in your place appoint whom God will as your successors, even as God raised you up from the posterity of other people.” (Surah Al-An’am, verse 133)

To truly understand MERCY I find it hard to begin in any place besides God, because the Quran describes exactly how merciful God is.  To embody MERCY, Muslims need to understand how forgiving God is.  Its hard to comprehend that mercy because as humans we seem to have a hard time forgiving ourselves, but God has in the Quran and through examples given by the Prophet, expressed that he will be ever Merciful and ever Forgiving, we just need to turn to him with that faith and hope in his Mercy and Compassion.

Still want more?  Go on to RD3—

Ramadan Day 1- The First 10 Days are “Rahma”

Posted: July 19, 2012 in Affad Shaikh, American Muslim, Islam, Justice, Ramadan, Syria
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Eid circa March 1994, I didn’t want to dig up older pictures and took the first snapshot I found of myself and my little brother… just a quick stroll down memory lane.

Ramadan is a guest, it comes into the lives of Muslims each year, and like a house guest, it makes it self either a pleasant and welcome friend or a friend you can’t wait to get rid of.  The thing about Ramadan is that the interaction with this friend is all on you- each individual makes what they wish out of the experience.  What makes this particular Ramadan harsh is that its occurring during what will be the summer months for those in the northern hemisphere of the Earth.  The fasting will be up to 14 hours some days, to add to the length the intensity of thirst will be amplified by the heat.  Here in Southern California we will be experiencing temperatures up into the triple digits.

Ramadan, like most days for Muslims, starts at sunset.  So the first day of Ramadan begins on the sunset of the current (Western) day that we are in.  The first day of night prayers starts tonight.

The first time I started to fast was when Ramadan was occurring during the summer months; I remember those first couple years of Ramadan being brutal.  In particular I remember coming back from school and sneaking in some food and drinks to help me make it until the first night prayer came in after sunset.  Here I am some eighteen years later, another cycle of summer Ramadan’s- Alhumdulillah (All praise is due to God for allowing me to make it in my life to see the summer Ramadan once more.).

I don’t know about you but I tried to fast a few days over the course of the past month.  I didn’t do to well.  But I am not willing to loose out on the opportunity that Ramadan provides.  So its going to be buckle down and double down time for me.

The scholars tell Muslims that the first ten days (Usually Ramadan is a month that contains 29 or 30 days) of the month of Ramadan are “the days of ‘Rahma‘”.  Rahma in Arabic means “mercy” and for Ramadan the first ten days are about “mercy”- so what is exactly is mercy?

According to the free dictionary “mercy” in English is:

1. Compassionate treatment, especially of those under one’s power; clemency.
2. A disposition to be kind and forgiving: a heart full of mercy.
3. Something for which to be thankful; a blessing: It was a mercy that no one was hurt.
4. Alleviation of distress; relief: Taking in the refugees was an act of mercy.

Which tells me that for Ramadan its a good time to focus on how one interacts with others, generally having a kind and forgiving disposition and being as helpful to others as possible.  But the thing about MERCY is that one should be that way with one’s self as well.

So I encourage you to join me as I explore the concept of MERCY in Islam during the first ten days and move on to the next two sets of 10 days, the second set being the DAYS OF FORGIVENESS and the last 10 days being the DAYS OF SEEKING FREEDOM FROM HELL.  RAMADAN KAREEM!  I pray that your Ramadan is going to be a pleasant one, that you set your goals and achieve them and that everywhere there are Muslims suffering, especially those in Cambodia and Syria, they experience the utmost Mercy from God during this blessed month.

Go on to Ramadan Day 2—

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